Let’s get real today. I write a parenting blog. But I wouldn’t exactly call it a REAL parenting blog.
When I look at REAL parenting blogs, they include content that someone might find useful when raising their child, such as potty training how-to’s or the best way to diffuse a tantrum. Maybe how to do baby-led weaning.
But I can’t write about those topics! Why not? I am completely unqualified.
I am raising my children on a wish, a prayer, caffeine and wine.
I still can’t get my three and a half year old, Henry, to poop in the potty. And i’m not looking for anymore advice on that one people!
Let’s be honest. Like super honest. We all have unrealistic expectations. We have these images in our mind of how life is going to be and then when it doesn’t happen that exact way, we get extremely disappointed.
Why can’t we just be honest with ourselves in the beginning? Admit that life isn’t perfect, our kids aren’t perfect, and we sure as hell aren’t perfect.
It’s like the Pinterest fail. You follow the directions exactly to make a nativity scene for Christmas out of toothpicks and rubber cement and end up with a big pile of nothing and a toddler with two fingers glued together.… CONTINUE READING
It’s that time again! Time for me to tell you more about the ways I have failed at parenting my children. Though by now I call them learning experiences or character builders. Let’s keep things positive people!
Here are ten of the things I have personally learned since becoming a parent. The things that people don’t tell you when you find out you’re pregnant. Some, such as myself, would think of these as hacks. The normal human would think of them as common sense.
Take your toddler’s fuzzy socks off before changing a poopy diaper. If you do not, the child in question will somehow stick the fuzzy sock into a large pile of poop, making a bigger, more disgusting mess.
Almost one year ago today, I wrote a post titled, No, I’m Not Tired: The Life of a Working Mom. I looked back at it today and realized how much my life has changed in one short year. When I wrote that post, I had one kid – now I have two. BIG DIFFERENCE.
So I thought I should write an update. And this time I am going to title the post appropriately, because yes, I am tired. Very tired. Four cups of coffee tired.
One year ago, I would get up at 5 am in the morning. And I thought that was early.… CONTINUE READING
I think every mom has that one story that really just tops them all. The gross of the gross. The one where you wonder what you did to deserve this disgusting fate.
Mine happened yesterday. The entire Johnson family had spent the week in Hilton Head for Fall Break and had an amazing time. The drive up was surprisingly easy with a 3 month old and a 3 year old, so I should have known it was the calm before the storm.
About three hours away from home on the ten plus hour trip back, we pulled over to get a bite to eat and for me to feed Simon, aka Cy Baby, our three month old.… CONTINUE READING
Happy First Birthday Hashtag MomFail! I wrote my first post, Why I #MomFail, exactly one year ago today.
What a crazy year this has been. I started this blog with the intention of sharing some funny stories, keeping it really real, and relating to other moms out there that felt the insane pressure to be the perfect parent.
But wow, it has turned into so much more than that. I’ve met so many cool people. I’ve helped a lot of moms through their struggles with parenting, made people laugh and pissed A LOT of people off.
I knew when I started blogging that not everyone would agree with what I wrote. And I was 100% okay with that because I write about a lot of things that some people might consider controversial.
But yesterday, someone made a comment saying that I had not “grown into a mother” in response to an article I wrote about going back to work after maternity leave. She didn’t disagree with the fact I went back to work, but she did disagree with the fact that I felt “more like myself” after going back to work. And that I treated my children as an extension of my job.… CONTINUE READING
I write about things that people don’t like to talk about. And I am doing that again today. Sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone.
I had my second baby boy six weeks ago. He weighed eight pounds and two ounces and was delivered via c-section.
Six weeks later, my body is still a mess. My c-section scar is very prominent. I weigh about thirty pounds more than i’m used to. I have more stretch marks than I ever thought could possibly fit on my stomach.
When I look in the mirror, I see a completely different person. I have bags under my eyes.… CONTINUE READING