Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 pm, but my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter.

I know I’m missing this meeting, but my kid’s preschool graduation is more important.

I know I was late today, but I can’t drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 am.

I know that I seem distracted, because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.

I don’t want to look exhausted when I show up to the office, but I have been awake since 4:30 am with an inconsolable kid.

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A few days before Christmas, I decided that I needed a break. I was tired, agitated, stressed and couldn’t stop thinking about everything I needed to do to prepare for the upcoming holiday.

I decided to do a social media blackout. I took the social media apps off my phone and dove into ALL the things that needed to be done. Not surprisingly, I finished them in a record amount of time.

As a blogger, I spend a lot of time on social media. That is simply part of my brand. But part of the reason I started my blog is because social media puts such crazy unrealistic expectations into our lives.

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That Moment

That moment when you are looking at pictures and realize that your baby boys aren’t babies anymore.

That moment that a tiny little piece of your heart feels like it is literally breaking into pieces because you might never get to rock them to sleep again.

That moment, that gut-wrenching moment, that your two-year old calls you Mommy for the first time instead of Mama.

That moment when your five-year old gets his first big boy haircut and you watch his little curls fall to the floor and try not to cry.

That moment when they give you the best hug and you try so hard not to let go because you don’t know when you might get another one.

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Boy Mom

Life as a boy mom is having that sweet baby boy placed in your arms for the first time and immediately falling in love, but also secretly feeling guilty because you think he kind of looks like a potato.

Life as a boy mom is soccer balls and baseballs, but also having to remind them to keep THEIR HANDS OUT OF THEIR PANTS AND OFF THEIR ACTUAL BALLS!

Life as a boy mom is literally chasing a naked baby around the house while sweating and cussing because he doesn’t want to put on his diaper, then getting the best baby snuggles on the couch before bed time.

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Mom Brain

About six years ago when I was pregnant for the first time, I was talking to a co-worker that was also pregnant. This was her second pregnancy and she already had a toddler at home.

We were discussing mom brain. She told me that it just gets worse after the baby is born because you have to remember literally everything that has ever occurred or could possibly occur in the future and when. Things like how many ounces your newborn drank at what time on which side, when is their next pediatrician appointment, if they are old enough to start eating solid foods, if the cleaning supplies you are using will put them at a disadvantage on college applications and if they are pooping regularly.

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Terrible Twos

I always see posts on Facebook that say things like, “They aren’t the terrible twos, your child is just learning.” Or the ones that say if I am more consistent with my parenting, my two-year old won’t be so terrible.

Well, you know what I have to say about that?

Shove it.

Right now, I have a very terrible two-year old and I don’t think that he’s just learning. I think by the smirk on his face that he knows exactly what he is doing and wants to test just how far he can push me before I snap.

Disclaimer: I always have to provide a disclaimer.

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I know that going to get a pedicure won’t cure the burnout of a mom, but it feels pretty damn good to be alone for two hours without the kids. And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. And it’s glorious.

I feel like social media has been such a buzzkill lately, especially with Election Day right around the corner. There’s so much trash talk and negativity and it don’t like it.

But there is also so much good on social media. So many ways to stay in touch with friends you don’t get to see nearly as much as you want.… CONTINUE READING


Now that school is back in session, I have been back to giving my kids nightly baths.

Don’t gasp at me, lady with clean kids. The pool or sprinkler count as a bath in the summer.

Anywho, a few nights ago, I needed to place my grungy little two year old in the tub for a nice soak. He had been playing outside and there was mud under his nails and dirt on his face.

I said, “Cy Cy, it’s bath time!” And his fat little legs ran/toddled to the bathroom to prepare for some splashing that would inevitably end in me drying the entire bathroom while yelling at him to stop.… CONTINUE READING

This is for my home girls that are dealing with a toddler right now.

Toddlers are equally adorable and completely terrifying depending on their unreliable moods, napping schedules and teething calendar.

When my oldest son, Henry, was a toddler, I was absolutely dumbfounded by how quickly he could morph from an adorable little pudgy dancing man in a diaper to a screaming, red-faced, angry tiny version of me over the color sippy cup he received.

I also did not think it was possible to be scared that you might make a child angry.

You know sometimes you hold your breath after you hand a toddler their dinner.

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Approximately 35 years ago, I was born. I think I might have come out sneezing.

I am a huge nerd with a long list of allergies. When I was in high school my eyes would swell shut at track meets from the grass. Always an extremely attractive look for anyone I was trying to impress. Or see.

For some reason, my parents never thought that taking me to get tested for allergies was a good idea, so I just suffered.

When I turned into an actual adult, I had enough. I was starting to get migraines and took matters into my own hands because I had good insurance.

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