MOM FAIL

You know how some people say their kids are really bad then you meet them and they are tiny angels? My toddler is not one of those kids. He is the kid that is very mischevious. He is constantly running, yelling, jumping and getting into trouble.

Yes, he is a little three year old boy, but the amount of damage he can do in a short amount of time blows my mind. He has earned the name Hurricane Henry. He has the stubborn nature of both me and my husband combined with blond hair, blue eyes and an adorable fat face.… CONTINUE READING

Mom guilt. Literally the entire reason I started this blog. As a resource that other okay moms out there can refer to when they are hiding in their bathroom eating chocolate and drinking coffee. You know, just so they can escape their children for more than two minutes. Yes, they may be sticking their fat little hands under the crack of the door and yelling your name because the need you to pick up the blankie they dropped, but you don’t have to respond because you are “taking a shower”.

I actually did this on Mother’s Day and it was delightful. I sat in the bathroom at 7:30 am, ate an entire bag of brownie brittle and drank my coffee with the shower running.… CONTINUE READING

I openly admit on this blog that I #MomFail all the time. On a regular basis. But there is one time of year when I #MomFail the most.

Yes, I have an entire season where my #MomFail reaches a new high. Where I wonder if I am totally losing my shit. Where my kid constantly looks dirtier than usual. Where hot dogs and fast food become regular diet staples.

And that season starts today.

Today is the first official day of high school baseball season. Actually, it is tryout day. So from now through the end of May/early June, I will see my husband approximately seven hours a week.… CONTINUE READING

It’s almost Christmas! Hallelujah! But let’s be real. I am so tired of Christmas. I feel like it has been here since Halloween. I am over Christmas Carols and my jacked up Christmas tree with 75% working lights and the pictures of the Elf on the Shelf and my toddler trying to unwrap all the presents under the tree. So instead of talking about Christmas I am going to talk about something totally unrelated – mom jeans. I think we could all use a break from Christmas, right?

Mom jeans have really gotten a bad rap in the last twenty years. They have been judged and made fun of and even got their own skit on Saturday Night Live that labeled them as extremely uncool.… CONTINUE READING

Last night I experienced a #MomFail I never thought I would get upset about. This story is actually pretty ridiculous but I need to share it with someone else so they can possibly share their disastrous Christmas tree story and make me feel better.

I decided that last night, I was going to pull all my Christmas decorations upstairs from the dusty basement. I am not the least bit crafty. I can’t make a wreath or gingerbread houses or even tie a bow that looks full and pretty. It just isn’t my thing. But I have always liked my Christmas tree.… CONTINUE READING

Here we go again folks. The real just keeps getting realer. After my first mom guilt post, I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the other things I have done and continue to do that make me feel like shit about myself as a mother. I figured, hey, why not write another post about it. It’s kind of like therapy. I share the crappy things I do with the world, and you all make me feel a little better by admitting you have done the same. And you share the crappy things you do and we all sit by an imaginary bonfire, sing kumbaya and drink wine while ignoring our whining toddlers.… CONTINUE READING

This is most definitely my worst #MomFail. The big kahuna. Possibly the one that makes you think, oh shit, this woman has lost it. Why is she sharing this with the internet?

But I have discussed this with friends. They have told me this has happened to them as well. So it is not as rare of an event as I think it is. Either that or all my friends are drunkards. Haha.

Having to take care of a toddler while you are hungover is one of the worst feelings in the world. There is nothing like having to care for a miniature human that constantly acts like they are drunk, while you are laying on the couch, dizzy and nauseous with the cold sweats while feeling like you could vomit at any moment.CONTINUE READING

Alright peeps, it is time for me to get down to the nitty gritty. Mom Guilt – or Dad Guilt – or whatever you want to call it. Almost the entire reason that I started this blog in the first place.

What am I doing as a parent? Am I doing it right? Am I one of those so called “hot mess moms”? Should there be a Buzzfeed video about all the things I have failed at? Why are we even labeling moms as hot messes? What mom (or dad) isn’t a hot mess?

I am going to make a list of some of the things I do that make me feel guilty as a mom.… CONTINUE READING

Why am I doing this? Does anyone actually want to read another mom blog?  I have been posting about my #MomFails on Facebook lately. It breaks up the monotony of the posts of the happy smiling well dressed children in front of perfectly trimmed hydrangea bushes – this usually occurs on Easter morning or the 4th of July. And matching gingham is always involved. You know the ones that make you look at your grimy toddler with a saggy diaper screaming “I DON’T LIKE IT” while laying on the floor covered in dog hair in front of the fridge when all he wants is milk.… CONTINUE READING