MOM FAIL

When Christmas time rolls around, I really find it hard to write about Christmas. Because it is everywhere. And it has been for MONTHS.

So I like to change things up a bit. I can’t take anymore Christmas carols. No more letters to Santa. I’m struggling to find new places for the damn elf on the shelf I gave into. Can Christmas come and I enjoy it fully and I have a wonderful time with my family then it be over?

Please?

This time last year I wrote about my true love and passion for mom jeans. It was a trend that I had just discovered.… CONTINUE READING

For as long as I can remember,  I have had a very strong dislike of the Elf on the Shelf.

As a single twenty-something, I found it to be extremely creepy looking. That in itself turned me off. My sister had one for her kids and the whole side-eye and little smirk made me uneasy.

After I had my first child, Henry, I would see my mom friends post their adorable elf getting into trouble on Facebook, having tea parties with 25 other toys, or making a five course breakfast.

I will now be completely and totally honest. This intimidated the shit out of me.… CONTINUE READING

Happy Thanksgiving people! In this day and age, that means it’s time to talk about Christmas. I know, I don’t like it either. I am usually the mom that waits until the very last minute to buy all Christmas presents, but I am making an effort to do a better job this year. I have a three year old so he is actually really excited and that gets me excited!

My normal Christmas mantra is minimal. My kids do not need any more toys.

So in this guide I’ve highlighted some of the hands-down classic winners, a really expensive but cool learning toy and something I use because I guess I’m just selfish.… CONTINUE READING

Let’s get real today. I write a parenting blog. But I wouldn’t exactly call it a REAL parenting blog.

When I look at REAL parenting blogs, they include content that someone might find useful when raising their child, such as potty training how-to’s or the best way to diffuse a tantrum. Maybe how to do baby-led weaning.

But I can’t write about those topics! Why not? I am completely unqualified.

  • I am raising my children on a wish, a prayer, caffeine and wine.
  • I still can’t get my three and a half year old, Henry, to poop in the potty. And i’m not looking for anymore advice on that one people!
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Let’s be honest. Like super honest. We all have unrealistic expectations. We have these images in our mind of how life is going to be and then when it doesn’t happen that exact way, we get extremely disappointed.

Why can’t we just be honest with ourselves in the beginning? Admit that life isn’t perfect, our kids aren’t perfect, and we sure as hell aren’t perfect.

It’s like the Pinterest fail. You follow the directions exactly to make a nativity scene for Christmas out of toothpicks and rubber cement and end up with a big pile of nothing and a toddler with two fingers glued together.… CONTINUE READING

Happy First Birthday Hashtag MomFail! I wrote my first post, Why I #MomFail, exactly one year ago today.

What a crazy year this has been. I started this blog with the intention of sharing some funny stories, keeping it really real, and relating to other moms out there that felt the insane pressure to be the perfect parent.

But wow, it has turned into so much more than that. I’ve met so many cool people. I’ve helped a lot of moms through their struggles with parenting, made people laugh and pissed A LOT of people off.

When I said I was going to keep it real, I wasn’t lying.… CONTINUE READING

This last couple weeks have been a real doozy for me when it comes to parenting. As in, I have #momfailed more than normal. Right when I think I can’t get any more mediocre as a parent, something like this happens.

I have heard that three is worse than two. That is when your child turns into a “threenager” and really learns how to mouth off and perfect the art of tantrum throwing. But I also heard that two was the hardest year. And before that, having a newborn was the hardest. Then, the parents with pre-teens and teenagers were always there saying, “Just wait, it gets much worse.”

So, let’s just put it out there and say every year as a parent is the hardest.… CONTINUE READING

You know how some people say their kids are really bad then you meet them and they are tiny angels? My toddler is not one of those kids. He is the kid that is very mischevious. He is constantly running, yelling, jumping and getting into trouble.

Yes, he is a little three year old boy, but the amount of damage he can do in a short amount of time blows my mind. He has earned the name Hurricane Henry. He has the stubborn nature of both me and my husband combined with blond hair, blue eyes and an adorable fat face.… CONTINUE READING

Mom guilt. Literally the entire reason I started this blog. As a resource that other okay moms out there can refer to when they are hiding in their bathroom eating chocolate and drinking coffee. You know, just so they can escape their children for more than two minutes. Yes, they may be sticking their fat little hands under the crack of the door and yelling your name because the need you to pick up the blankie they dropped, but you don’t have to respond because you are “taking a shower”.

I actually did this on Mother’s Day and it was delightful. I sat in the bathroom at 7:30 am, ate an entire bag of brownie brittle and drank my coffee with the shower running.… CONTINUE READING

I openly admit on this blog that I #MomFail all the time. On a regular basis. But there is one time of year when I #MomFail the most.

Yes, I have an entire season where my #MomFail reaches a new high. Where I wonder if I am totally losing my shit. Where my kid constantly looks dirtier than usual. Where hot dogs and fast food become regular diet staples.

And that season starts today.

Today is the first official day of high school baseball season. Actually, it is tryout day. So from now through the end of May/early June, I will see my husband approximately seven hours a week.… CONTINUE READING