I used to be a total asshole. A snarky little beeotch.
This was before I had kids obviously. I’m still an asshole, just not as often and mostly when I’m sleep deprived.
So, this post is my apology to all the women in my life that had kids before me, because I was an asshole to them. I had zero idea of the impact children have on your life and how stressful and time consuming parenting can be.
The saying, “I was the perfect mom until I had kids,” is so true. I can’t even begin to count the number of times, “My kid will never do that,” slipped out of my mouth.
are exhausting. I don’t care if you have one kid or you have nineteen kids,
they will wear your ass out to the point where you wonder if you can make it
through the day.
I now have two mobile children, my life is more hectic than ever. I rarely get
a “break”, and when I do get one, it is for maybe a day, tops. That
is not enough time to fully unwind and allow my shoulders to return back to
their normal position, not scrunched up under my ears.
I have learned to take relaxation and what I like to call “life
breaks” as much as I can.
The other day, I posted a picture on my Facebook page of my one-year old, crying on the floor with a cracker in his hand at 6:30 am. He was generally pissed at life and didn’t want to take off his Mickey Mouse pajama shirt that was a 12 month – he wears a 2T now.
So I did what any thoughtful parent would do. I let him lay on the floor and cry it out. There was no calming him. This was a Class A tantrum – the worst of the worst.
I’ve gotten to the point where I can pretty much tune the chaos of our house out now.… CONTINUE READING
As a parent of two tiny minions, I sometimes find my mind wandering in odd directions.
Sometimes, when I should be concentrating on a task, such as filing our taxes or folding laundry, I will start thinking random thoughts. The majority of them are kid related, but a lot of them are not.
I decided to jot down all my random thoughts from a day and share them with you.
Because I need to know if this is normal.
I need justification that I’m not the only mom who legitimately ponders where their kid should go to preschool and if I should go ahead and place him on a waiting list.… CONTINUE READING
Disclaimer: I really don’t like to start my posts with a disclaimer but I want to get this one out of the way. I love my children so much. They are the loves of my life, along with my husband and Netflix. But they do have the innate ability to annoy me at times. Yes, I am lucky and blessed to be a mom. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to want to do something for me. In this case, that is working outside of the home.
Now that we have that out of the way, I will say it loud and proud.
Right after I had my now 18-month old son, Simon, I wrote a post about all the things I had learned from being a mom to two children. I wrote it TWO WEEKS after I had Simon. He couldn’t even smile yet. Of course it was easy. All I had to do was feed him and change his diapers.
Below is the link to the said post. It was picked up by Motherly and they still use it on a regular basis.
I will start this post with yet another disclaimer. I know that in approximately two years, I will have to delete this or my four year old will hate me for the rest of his life. Luckily, he has no idea how to read yet.
Until then, enjoy this post because he says some pretty funny shit. No pun intended.
The phrase toilet humor made no true sense to me until I had a four-year old boy. Then he learned about poop and I realized I would hear about it every day for the rest of my life.
Maybe we talked about poop too much when he was younger.
Let’s talk about the time span between getting home with your kids after a long day of work and actually getting them into bed. And staying in bed. I like to think of this as the longest part of my day.
The minute the car pulls into the garage, all chaos ensues. The baby will start screaming and Henry will complain about the first thing he can think of. Tonight, his eyeball hurt.
It never fails. I have never pulled into my garage with a smiling child.
I get the boys out of the car and try to enter the house with Simon in his carrier, my purse that’s massive, and Henry’s school bag.… CONTINUE READING