Kids are exhausting. I don’t care if you have one kid or you have nineteen kids, they will wear your ass out to the point where you wonder if you can make it through the day.

Since I now have two mobile children, my life is more hectic than ever. I rarely get a “break”, and when I do get one, it is for maybe a day, tops. That is not enough time to fully unwind and allow my shoulders to return back to their normal position, not scrunched up under my ears.

So I have learned to take relaxation and what I like to call “life breaks” as much as I can.

Never say never. For real.

And if you do say never, wait for it to bite you in the ass.

Why? Because karma is a bitch.

I should have known better.

I used to view co-sleeping as the worst. I am a woman that likes my sleep. I need a solid eight hours to function in the morning and sleeping with a tiny human in the bed is not relaxing.

I would say that up until about six months ago, I was anti-co-sleeping. Okay, I was extremely anti-co-sleeping.

It was uncomfortable, crowded and overall miserable to me. Kid feet in my face, flipping and flopping, and attempting to tug an inch of bedspread from my oldest minion wasn’t my idea of good sleep.

Disclaimer: I really don’t like to start my posts with a disclaimer but I want to get this one out of the way. I love my children so much. They are the loves of my life, along with my husband and Netflix. But they do have the innate ability to annoy me at times. Yes, I am lucky and blessed to be a mom. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to want to do something for me. In this case, that is working outside of the home.

Now that we have that out of the way, I will say it loud and proud.

Right after I had my now 18-month old son, Simon, I wrote a post about all the things I had learned from being a mom to two children. I wrote it TWO WEEKS after I had Simon. He couldn’t even smile yet. Of course it was easy. All I had to do was feed him and change his diapers.

Below is the link to the said post. It was picked up by Motherly and they still use it on a regular basis.

https://www.mother.ly/life/two-weeks-with-two-kids-8-things-ive-learned-about-having-a-second-child

Now that I have two mobile children, I thought I should write a little follow up. So the world can know how I am currently handling my mom life.

I will start this post with yet another disclaimer. I know that in approximately two years, I will have to delete this or my four year old will hate me for the rest of his life. Luckily, he has no idea how to read yet.

Until then, enjoy this post because he says some pretty funny shit. No pun intended.

The phrase toilet humor made no true sense to me until I had a four-year old boy. Then he learned about poop and I realized I would hear about it every day for the rest of my life.

Maybe we talked about poop too much when he was younger.

Let’s talk about the time span between getting home with your kids after a long day of work and actually getting them into bed. And staying in bed. I like to think of this as the longest part of my day.

The minute the car pulls into the garage, all chaos ensues. The baby will start screaming and Henry will complain about the first thing he can think of. Tonight, his eyeball hurt.

It never fails. I have never pulled into my garage with a smiling child.

I get the boys out of the car and try to enter the house with Simon in his carrier, my purse that’s massive, and Henry’s school bag.… CONTINUE READING

I am in the part of my life that media has labeled “in the weeds” as a mom. I have a one-year old and a four-year old. Both little boys. Both stubborn and headstrong, just like their Mom and Dad.

My one-year old, Simon, is a crawling wrecking ball. He paves a path of destruction everywhere he goes. If he can see it and touch it, he will throw it across the room. He has an incredibly good arm for a toddler. If it’s too big or too heavy to throw, he will push, shove it, knock it over or scream so loud that you cannot ignore it.… CONTINUE READING