Forget boot camps and Insanity workouts! No need to waste money on barre classes, gyms or even yoga mats. If you want to burn some real calories, get your toddler dressed when you have less than two hours to get out the door, a limited amount of patience and a list of things to be accomplished out in the real world.

When Henry was an infant, I remember absolutely dreading having to put him in his pajamas before bed each night. My husband and I would argue over whose turn it was. We would do bath time, lotion, diaper and then he would go in his crib where I would brace myself for my nightly cardio.… CONTINUE READING

I am not a cool mom. Not at all. I do not have a smidgen of coolness in my mom body. And one day I will use it to make my children extremely embarrassed of me. And I can’t wait.

I know that when Henry is older, he is going to look back at this blog and be absolutely irate I shared so many stories about him with the world. He will probably ask me to delete them all and cry about how unfair his life is.

My response will be, “No way kiddo! Suck it up! This blog is like a time capsule of your adorable little life!” Then I will lecture him about how lucky he is that he learned to use an iPad as a toddler because all I had was Oregon Trail in the fourth grade.… CONTINUE READING

Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow afternoon, my husband and I will head to the doctor’s office for my twenty week appointment. We will get to see our sweet baby and hear his or her heartbeat and find out if we are having a baby girl or a baby boy.

I am so excited. I feel like finding out the gender of your child makes it seem real. Then you can really plan and decorate and give that little peanut a name and talk to it and get everything they will ever wear through their first year monogrammed with their initials.… CONTINUE READING

These days, there are a lot of things that make me cry. I am sixteen weeks pregnant with my second child. My two-and-a-half year old, Henry, seems to be growing up way too fast.

What exactly makes me cry? Let me show you a list:

• Anything
• Everything
• Commercials with puppies

That sums it up. Everything makes me cry.

I knew I was pregnant with Henry when I laid down on a Saturday morning to watch an episode of Glee on the DVR. It was the one after Cory Monteith had passed away. I literally SOBBED the entire time. Like, I could barely breathe.… CONTINUE READING

Many people probably wonder why the hell I write about everything in my life so publicly. Why would I air my dirty laundry for the world to read? Why would I post all the bad things I have done as a mom for my co-workers, acquaintances, high school classmates and random dude on the side of the road to read? Why?

Sometimes I ask myself the same question.

I get a negative comment or rude message and I get upset. I think, “Get your shit together Jamie. Why are you doing this? Everyone in the world doesn’t need to know about your life and your pregnancy and your toddler’s bad habits.… CONTINUE READING

I feel very Carrie Bradshaw using a question as my title. Except that I am in Owensboro, KY, not New York, I don’t smoke, my mom jeans are not the height of fashion right now and I feel like I could vomit at any moment. I am also watching my toddler chase our dog around the living room trying to give him a kiss. So yeah, the only thing Carrie Bradshaw and I have in common is the fact that we like to write. Haha. I was always more of a Samantha anyway.

When I talk about having it all, I don’t mean driving a Bentley and being the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company while raising eight gluten and soy-free children.… CONTINUE READING

Oh Christmas season! How you creep up on me each and every year. I am always the person that waits until the weekend before Christmas to finish all their shopping. The Christmas season turns everything into such a cluster. People going crazy searching for the one toy their kid supposedly cannot live without. Teenagers in crop tops and winter coats begging their parents for something that I think is highly inappropriate. Get that kid a damn EZ Bake Oven and a turtleneck with a snowman on it! Is that not in style anymore?

Disclaimer: I am totally turning into an old person.… CONTINUE READING

I love my kid. He is awesome and adorable and I want to kiss his fat little face. But he can be a total asshole.

Is it okay to feel this way? Is this normal? Does this make me sound like a bad mom? I’m sure to some people it might. But I think a lot of moms feel this way. None of us want to admit it. Parenting is hard. And that’s okay. So let’s not just bottle it all up. Let it out! We are allowed to be mad at our kids! We made them and raised them and love them so deep and so hard.… CONTINUE READING

When I had Henry two and a half years ago, I had zero clue what I was doing. Zilch. When I went to register I almost had a panic attack. I had no idea you had to use special laundry detergent on baby clothes or that they were supposed to sleep in a bag that zips up the front. I didn’t know that some bottles had seven pieces and you could get a baby monitor with WiFi.

Needless to say, I was clueless about parenting. I was scared to hold babies because I didn’t want to drop them. So when everyone told me it would just come naturally I laughed in their faces.… CONTINUE READING