Many moons ago, I told you all about my love for mom jeans. They suck everything in. The bulges and pouches and stretch marks and that skin flap over my double c-section scar.
I still keep a pair of mom jeans in my drawer for a night out on the town, or more likely, casual Friday at the office or not having clean leggings.
I have upped my mom jean game by ten zillion points since I wrote about mom jeans the first time. That was probably four years ago.
Add another pregnancy to my list, and wait, drumroll please..
I have added an elastic waistband in my high waisted mom jeans.
Is this what giving up feels like? Am I being scoffed at by every teenage girl I don’t see because we can’t go places anymore?
Am I the gross mom in high waisted jeans and a sorority sweatshirt from 2004 at Target, roaming the aisles with bags the size of laundry hampers under my eyes and a venti vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso in my hand?
Hell mother fucking yes I am. And I’m proud of it.
It took a lot of hard work to look this haggardly. My hair hasn’t been washed in four or more days. This sweatshirt has dog hair on it. I’m making mental notes in my head about what I should be doing at home. I’m also calculating sales tax for my cart full of shit I didn’t need but plan to purchase anyway.
And high five to the girl that told me my hair looked shiny when it was really just grease.
And look, in my mom jeans, I can grab something off the top shelf without worrying about my butt crack hanging out. Thanks mom jeans. You’re the real hero here.
This isn’t giving up ladies! High waisted jeans are in style! We are trendsetters and don’t you forget it!