Disclaimer: I really don’t like to start my posts with a disclaimer but I want to get this one out of the way. I love my children so much. They are the loves of my life, along with my husband and Netflix. But they do have the innate ability to annoy me at times. Yes, I am lucky and blessed to be a mom. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to want to do something for me. In this case, that is working outside of the home.
Now that we have that out of the way, I will say it loud and proud. I would rather work full time than stay at home with my children.
Sometimes, when Sunday afternoon rolls around, I wonder how much longer I can take the incessant screaming of my one and four-year old before they head back to school and the babysitter’s house.
I just heard gasps from all across America. But I promise, I am not a monster. This makes me no less of a Mama to my two sweet boys. I just enjoy working – and I don’t enjoy hearing them scream.
This is not selfish, it is something that makes me a better person. And if I want to raise kind, caring, loving, wonderful humans, I need to be the best human I can be. And working makes me a better human.
Work is something I have always enjoyed and taken a lot of pride in. And if I didn’t work, I think I would feel there was something missing in my life.
Stay-at-home moms do not get enough credit. The fact that they don’t lose it is a miracle to me. I can get the kids ready for school and the sitter, drop them off, and go sit in my office with a cup of coffee and enjoy some time away from those grubby little fingers.
Stay-at-home moms are left with the tiny little minions, the housekeeping, cooking and laundry.
I. WOULD. LOSE. MY. MIND.
I have written so many posts about mom guilt. And I used to feel guilty about working as a mom. I knew that I was missing out on some of my children’s lives, but let’s be honest, I still spend a very large amount of time with them.
We see each other every single morning and every night. We spend our weekends and vacations together.
Yes, I might have missed out on Henry crawling the first time, but I got to see him crawl the second time and the 3,764 times after that.
You know what else I missed out on? About 4,000 poopy diapers, 945 tantrums and that one time he had a blowout that dripped onto the carpet at the babysitter’s house. Thanks Ms. Becky. You’re the real MVP here.
So here is the deal. I LIKE to work. I LIKE my job. I LIKE to work on projects and accomplish tasks I thought I couldn’t do.
And here’s the kicker…
I LOVE TO HAVE A JOB SO I CAN MAKE MONEY!
WHAT?? Did she really just say she likes to work to make money??
I said it! I like having more money so that our family can live a better life. And that is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.
I like knowing that we are financially secure.
I like to know that if my car gets a flat tire, I can go get a new one because I work my ass off.
I like knowing that if I want to buy a new pair of shoes, I can, because I work my ass off.
I like knowing that if my kid really wants a new toy and he deserves it, I can get it for him, because I work my ass off.
I like knowing that we can afford to do fun things as a family, because both my husband and I work our asses off.
Why, as women, do we feel so guilty talking about money? If you work your ass off, you deserve to be compensated for it!
Disclaimer: Stay at home moms should be paid because you couldn’t pay me enough to do their job.
So if you love working outside the home and don’t feel guilty sending your kids to the babysitter, join the club! I might be the only other person in the world that will admit it, but at least you have me!
So reach out, and let me know if you feel the same way, because I am done feeling guilty for working outside the home and admitting that I like to make money. DONE!
And that, my friends, is my honest truth.
Until Next Time,
Jamie
Thanks for this post, Jamie!
I think it is all about finding one’s own balance, find what feels right, and then stick to that. Women feel guilty no matter the situation they are in, be that as SAHM or working mum. I am a part time working mum at the moment, have always liked working, but after the birth of my son I seriously considered staying home for a while… I just enjoyed the time with him so much… and I did get raised eyebrows for that too! So, in essence, good on you for realizing what makes you happy and go for it – because for sure, that’s what we’d want our kids to do too when they’re grown up.
Mom guilt – the never-ending story. Ugh. But it’s so true. Do what makes YOU happy!!
I am a sahm to a 8-month-old and I am already tired of the crap that moms get about the choices they make (especially when it comes from other moms). It makes me sad that we are constantly having to defend the choices we make for ourselves and our families to other people.
Totally agree! Just let us do our thing and leave us all alone!
I have been trying to be a SAHM but the thought of going back to work at the beginning of the year brings me so much joy and I feel so ashamed saying it. I love my little guy so much but I feel like the lion pacing back and forth at the zoo 😩 thanks for sharing this…I cried but I’m glad I’m not alone!
You are not alone by any means!! Don’t be ashamed. You will be a better mom doing what makes you the happiest! It’s okay to admit these things. It’s just how real life rolls.
GURL! So much yes! I’m a SAHM but hate it. My husband has an awesome job that supports us but the cost of full time daycare ate through any income I made so it makes no sense for me to work. But I’ve never wanted to stay home. I sell PartyLite and do Shipt so I can still have a little extra cash on the side, but I find myself even more depressed because I can’t put the time into them to be successful. I can’t work during peak hours due to having my kids and it’s eating me away inside. I wish my family lived closer because I know they would help but I just don’t have anyone who can watch the kids on the regular. It’s hard enough to find date-night sitters and I have awesome friends and kids who aren’t demons!
I’m so sorry. That has to be hard. Hopefully you can find someone reliable that can maybe give you a day off a week or so!! Or even a few hours here and there is super helpful!!
I am so glad I read this! I recently wrote an article on my day as a SAHM and got so much backlash and criticism. It was awful, and made me feel even more invaluable. So I love when I find others who make me feel not so alone when I say staying home with my kids is difficult!
I’m sorry you received backlash!! You have to speak your truth. Some of us just aren’t cut out for the stay at home mom life. And I am definitely one of them!!!
This!! I was a SAHM for 3.5 years . I decided to go back to work and I’m SO HAPPY I did.i was getting so depressed staying home. I work at a grocery store for right now so I’m really just working to pay for daycare until I can find a permanent career choice. This weekend I was so tired of hearing them scream and fight that I looked forward to going back to work. I’m at the point where I’d rather be at work than home. I love them dearly but I don’t love being around them 24/7.
I work from home and I absolutely LOVE what I do!!! I just can’t do it as much as I want to. With the recent Corona Virus and my 10 year old being home all day, I am ready to lose my mind. I love her but I hate parenting when I need and want to work. It is the most difficult part about being a mom is trying to juggle work and family. It is just about impossible. I would rather work than spend time with her. I wish I didn’t feel that way but I do. I am doing my dream job of being a primitive country Home Decor designer, and I am really good at it. I can set my own hours, but she is home all of the time. I do 100% of the parenting and I am just so exhausted. I cannot wait until the Fall. Hopefully schools will be back in session full-time. If not, I honestly don’t know what I am going to do. I have been parenting her 7 days a week since March, and I still have over 2 months to go. I honestly don’t know how I am going to make it until then. I wish we had money to pay a nanny, but we don’t. I am stressed everyday trying to juggle her and my work. It is just too much to deal with. Since the Corona Virus, I am working only at 25% versus 100% when she was in school. I really love her but I need my space. I hope this virus ends soon so we can all get back to normalcy.