When I had Henry two and a half years ago, I had zero clue what I was doing. Zilch. When I went to register I almost had a panic attack. I had no idea you had to use special laundry detergent on baby clothes or that they were supposed to sleep in a bag that zips up the front. I didn’t know that some bottles had seven pieces and you could get a baby monitor with WiFi.
Needless to say, I was clueless about parenting. I was scared to hold babies because I didn’t want to drop them. So when everyone told me it would just come naturally I laughed in their faces.… CONTINUE READING
I don’t know why I have such a hard time hitting publish on posts that aren’t humorous. It’s hard to be vulnerable and put the hard stuff out there. I don’t want people to judge me. I don’t want to offend someone. But I can’t make everyone happy and I’ve come to realize that. This post has been in my drafts for about two weeks. And I think today is the day to finally put it out there.
A lot of my posts have been about the guilt I feel when parenting, owning up to the fact that I am not the perfect mom and laughing at my stupid mistakes.… CONTINUE READING
Okay working moms. You feel me already. You get up at five in the morning so you can get everyone ready and out the door and to the sitter and make sure the dog has food and you can actually make it to work on time without looking like a hot mess. You literally pull into your parking space at work like a Nascar driver and jump out of the car. Throwing random items in your purse – phone, water bottle, snack for later, car keys, chapstick, laptop, files, flats for when it’s too much to wear the heels. They all settle at the depths of your large mom purse/computer bag/diaper bag with the random baby sock and $4.62 in nickels, dimes and pennies.… CONTINUE READING
I know it, this topic has been written about before. Multiple times. I’ve seen it in BuzzFeed, Scary Mommy, The Chive, etc. But I couldn’t help myself. My child has been crying all f**king weekend for no reason at all and I had to get it off my chest. Maybe this post is more for me to vent than to inform you. Call me selfish but I’m writing about it anyway.
Henry lives a very luxe life. He sleeps approximately twelve hours every night and also takes a three hour nap during the day. He isn’t potty trained yet so he doesn’t even have to move to go to the bathroom.… CONTINUE READING
I have been debating back and forth on posting this. It has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I couldn’t seem to hit publish. Everything else I have written thus far has been very light hearted. I have received a lot of comments from moms – and dads – telling me they love the blog and the fact that I get really real. So I have to get real with this one. It isn’t funny, it’s sad. And a little embarrassing. But it’s true. And I know there are probably a million other moms out there that need someone to relate to.… CONTINUE READING
I am an adult now. At least that is how people refer to me. The ripe old age of 32. I have a husband, a kid, a dog, a mortgage, a career, an IRA, a car payment and a shit ton of student loans. How in holy hell did this happen? Who trusted me to be an adult? Can I really be in charge of raising another human? And making sure that he grows up to be a kind, loving person that realizes his importance and how much I love him?
This seriously blows my mind. I swear it was just a few years ago that I was skipping classes at Western Kentucky University to drink beer with my friends on the porch at Baker Boys.… CONTINUE READING
This is most definitely my worst #MomFail. The big kahuna. Possibly the one that makes you think, oh shit, this woman has lost it. Why is she sharing this with the internet?
But I have discussed this with friends. They have told me this has happened to them as well. So it is not as rare of an event as I think it is. Either that or all my friends are drunkards. Haha.
Having to take care of a toddler while you are hungover is one of the worst feelings in the world. There is nothing like having to care for a miniature human that constantly acts like they are drunk, while you are laying on the couch, dizzy and nauseous with the cold sweats while feeling like you could vomit at any moment.… CONTINUE READING
Alright peeps, it is time for me to get down to the nitty gritty. Mom Guilt – or Dad Guilt – or whatever you want to call it. Almost the entire reason that I started this blog in the first place.
What am I doing as a parent? Am I doing it right? Am I one of those so called “hot mess moms”? Should there be a Buzzfeed video about all the things I have failed at? Why are we even labeling moms as hot messes? What mom (or dad) isn’t a hot mess?
I am going to make a list of some of the things I do that make me feel guilty as a mom.… CONTINUE READING
Let’s talk about the car ride with a toddler. Quite possibly the easiest way to lose your mind in approximately five minutes. I thought it would be refreshing to hear some stories about real life. The good, the bad, and the VERY UGLY. I promise not to hold back.This is the story of how a simple DVD player crushed my hopes and dreams.
To start on a positive note, Henry loves his car rides in Logan’s big white truck. Also lucky for me, Logan drops Henry off at the sitter most mornings. He has a nice DVD player equipped with multiple DVD’s to keep him entertained as he drives the six miles to the sitters house or the half mile miles to my in-laws.… CONTINUE READING
Why am I doing this? Does anyone actually want to read another mom blog? I have been posting about my #MomFails on Facebook lately. It breaks up the monotony of the posts of the happy smiling well dressed children in front of perfectly trimmed hydrangea bushes – this usually occurs on Easter morning or the 4th of July. And matching gingham is always involved. You know the ones that make you look at your grimy toddler with a saggy diaper screaming “I DON’T LIKE IT” while laying on the floor covered in dog hair in front of the fridge when all he wants is milk.… CONTINUE READING