I knew when I started blogging that not everyone would agree with what I wrote. And I was 100% okay with that because I write about a lot of things that some people might consider controversial.
But yesterday, someone made a comment saying that I had not “grown into a mother” in response to an article I wrote about going back to work after maternity leave. She didn’t disagree with the fact I went back to work, but she did disagree with the fact that I felt “more like myself” after going back to work. And that I treated my children as an extension of my job.
I write about things that people don’t like to talk about. And I am doing that again today. Sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone.
I had my second baby boy six weeks ago. He weighed eight pounds and two ounces and was delivered via c-section.
Six weeks later, my body is still a mess. My c-section scar is very prominent. I weigh about thirty pounds more than i’m used to. I have more stretch marks than I ever thought could possibly fit on my stomach.
When I look in the mirror, I see a completely different person. I have bags under my eyes.
Social media and I have a love/hate relationship. Since I have been on maternity leave, I have spent a lot of time scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram to pass the hours while attempting to comfort my newborn that has not taken up sleeping at night yet. While it does keep me extremely entertained, it also makes me feel extremely inadequate at times.
Being a mom in this modern world is hard. Everyone splashes their beautiful family pictures and workout selfies and Pinterest birthday parties all over the internet. I have done these things too!! Henry’s first birthday was a freaking fiesta.
I might be writing this post for selfish reasons – to give myself a pep talk. To remind myself that every day won’t be so hard. That I won’t spend every day crying. That this won’t last forever. But I also know there are plenty of other moms out there right now that are probably feeling the same way I am. So I have decided to put it all out there for the universe to read. Again. Because I guess that is kind of my thing now.
My second son, Simon, was born exactly four weeks ago. I am currently on maternity leave from my full-time job.
Once again, I am an open book when it comes to the postpartum depression I experienced with my now three year old son Henry. I have written multiple blog posts about it and shared how I managed to finally overcome the depression after almost having a nervous breakdown. I am currently bottle feeding my newborn son, Simon, and taking depression and anxiety medication as a precautionary measure.
These posts have really seemed to resonate with my readers. It’s not very often that a woman actually puts her mental health issues out there for the world to read. Saying you experienced something that personal normally comes with a stigma.
Two weeks. I cannot believe that it has already been two weeks since Baby Simon was brought into this world. Two weeks since my husband and I welcomed our second son, the final piece of our little family. Two weeks since I had a human surgically removed from my body. Two weeks since my three year old, Henry, became a big brother. Two weeks since I have been the mom of a toddler and a newborn.
It absolutely blows my mind how much my life has changed in the last two weeks. Things are going well for us. It’s definitely not all rainbows and unicorns around here though.
There were a lot of topics I considered writing about for my first post-baby blog post. But since I have been so open about my experience with postpartum depression after having Henry, I thought that sharing how things are going this time around would be fitting.
Mental health is so important. It also happens to be something that isn’t talked about. There is a stigma surrounding people that bring up the fact they need help. It’s a taboo subject. People judge others that admit they have mental health issues. And I’m not okay with that.
Another real life, honest to goodness post from me. Do you expect anything else now?
This one is about good ol’ maternity leave. The day has arrived for me! Today was my last day at work before giving birth. I will have three whole work days off before I go in for a c-section Thursday morning and get to meet my sweet baby boy.
People have been asking me if I’m excited for my maternity leave.
Of course I’m excited, I get to meet the final member of our little family. I get to spend time with him and my three year old and get lots of snuggles and not have to worry about meetings and checking my email and making sure i’m off in time to pick the kids up from the sitter.
This last couple weeks have been a real doozy for me when it comes to parenting. As in, I have #momfailed more than normal. Right when I think I can’t get any more mediocre as a parent, something like this happens.
I have heard that three is worse than two. That is when your child turns into a “threenager” and really learns how to mouth off and perfect the art of tantrum throwing. But I also heard that two was the hardest year. And before that, having a newborn was the hardest. Then, the parents with pre-teens and teenagers were always there saying, “Just wait, it gets much worse.”
So, let’s just put it out there and say every year as a parent is the hardest.