MOM FAIL

Last night, I tried co-sleeping for 2 hours, 47 minutes and 36 seconds. It was awful. Absolutely terrible.

I know right now, people are thinking one of two things.

1. Co-sleeping is beautiful and forms a bond with your child.

2. Co-sleeping is dangerous.

There is nothing wrong with either of these stances on co-sleeping. We are all allowed to have our opinions.

Before last night, my thoughts on co-sleeping were that I didn’t really give a flying f*** what anyone else did or where anyone else slept, I just needed to be guaranteed my seven hours of beauty sleep.

Sleeping is extremely important to me.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

The last few weeks have been a real shit storm.

I thought that the dust had finally settled and I had caught up with life, but then my three year old decided to give up his nap. This is a difficult time for me, because I love napping as well. I also love spending time alone.

So currently my three year old is screaming at me that he is “so angry and so sad” because I won’t let him watch tv.

So I did something that I would completely have frowned upon before I had kids. Or even have audibly gasped about.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

Why is being a mom such a tough job?

Because kids are gross. They can be tiny little monsters that push your buttons on purpose while simultaneously destroying an entire room in three minutes.

Disclaimer: I love my children. They are my life. I would take a bullet for them.

But let’s be honest. Sometimes kids are just freaking annoying.

So I have compiled a list of the top ten ways to make a mom extremely annoyed.

  1. Say that you want something, then refuse it once it has been handed to you. Like asking for four dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with ketchup and mustard on an orange plate, then throwing a temper tantrum when you get the exact meal you asked for.
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LIFE

It’s been one hell of a week. If you follow me on Facebook, you know my sweet baby boy Simon, who is only seven months old, was in the hospital for two days last week. He had bronchiolitis but is feeling much better now and acting like his sweet self. Thank goodness.

Disclaimer: When the pediatrician came in the room and told me that he was admitting Simon to the hospital, I straight up cried. Like didn’t even hold it together for my kid. Ugly cried in the monkey room at Dr. Houston’s Office. For at least 5 minutes.

On top of all that, these next couple weeks are a big transition for my family.… CONTINUE READING

LIFE

I don’t talk about my husband a lot on my blog. When I started writing about my life and being a parent, I left him out of the mix. He 100% supports me and my blog, but he didn’t sign up to have his life broadcast to thousands of people a week.

But today, I do want to write about him. I promise I won’t throw you under the bus, Logan. 😉

Disclaimer: He has no clue I’m writing this so he will read it the same time you do.

My husband puts up with me. I can be very high strung.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

I have been going back and forth on whether I wanted to write this or not. Should I alienate people that read my blog that won’t agree with this post?

But I started this blog to talk about things others don’t like to talk about, so here I am writing about school shootings and gun control.

17 CHILDREN were just murdered in Florida. Teenagers had to watch their classmates die in front of them.

Just a few weeks ago, there was a school shooting two hours from my hometown. Two innocent children died. TWO HOURS AWAY.

Yes, I pray for their families.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

Parenting is not an easy job. You all hear that from me a lot. And as mom and dads, we constantly wonder if we are “doing it right”. No matter how much we do, or how well we do something, we always doubt ourselves. Can we ever be totally content with the job we are doing as parents?

Probably not. I think it’s just human nature to doubt yourself when you are in a situation with a tiny human that has zero regard for societal norms.

Someone once told me that if I was worried that I was a good enough mom, that meant I was doing a good job.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

Well, it’s official. Henry, my three and a half year old, is finally potty trained!

Cue Jock Jams! Turn on the strobe lights! Where are those cats that DJ?

There they are. Thanks guys!

For real, this is a huge #MomWin for me and Henry. For a while, my husband and I thought that he might actually be graduating high school in a Pull Up.

So, as promised above, here is how to potty train your child in 36 extremely difficult and aggravating steps.

  1. Think that potty training will be an absolute walk in the park and set extremely unrealistic expectations.
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PARENTING

Today is the last day of January. HALLELUJAH!

I personally could not be more excited because this has seemed like an abnormally long month.

But you know what’s next – February. Ugh.

I honestly have an intense disdain for the month of February. I do not like to use the word hate because it is a very strong word and I have two small children, so I will just say that I strongly dislike February.

Disclaimer: My children are not allowed to use the word hate but if they drop a “shit” here or there do not be shocked. I call this blog Hashtag MomFail for a certain reason.… CONTINUE READING

MOM FAIL

Everything in life has felt a little heavy lately. I was down and out with pneumonia last week and found myself watching the news a lot. There is a lot of bad stuff going on in the world. A school shooting that was a little too close to home. I considered writing about my thoughts on some of the bad stuff. But decided to stick with something lighter for today. Because I think we could all use a little pick me up.

So here goes.

I woke up one day last week and walked downstairs. I turned on the living room lamp and something looked a little off.… CONTINUE READING