MOM FAIL

It’s almost Christmas! Hallelujah! But let’s be real. I am so tired of Christmas. I feel like it has been here since Halloween. I am over Christmas Carols and my jacked up Christmas tree with 75% working lights and the pictures of the Elf on the Shelf and my toddler trying to unwrap all the presents under the tree. So instead of talking about Christmas I am going to talk about something totally unrelated – mom jeans. I think we could all use a break from Christmas, right?

Mom jeans have really gotten a bad rap in the last twenty years. They have been judged and made fun of and even got their own skit on Saturday Night Live that labeled them as extremely uncool.… CONTINUE READING

PARENTING

Oh Christmas season! How you creep up on me each and every year. I am always the person that waits until the weekend before Christmas to finish all their shopping. The Christmas season turns everything into such a cluster. People going crazy searching for the one toy their kid supposedly cannot live without. Teenagers in crop tops and winter coats begging their parents for something that I think is highly inappropriate. Get that kid a damn EZ Bake Oven and a turtleneck with a snowman on it! Is that not in style anymore?

Disclaimer: I am totally turning into an old person.… CONTINUE READING

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PARENTING

I love my kid. He is awesome and adorable and I want to kiss his fat little face. But he can be a total asshole.

Is it okay to feel this way? Is this normal? Does this make me sound like a bad mom? I’m sure to some people it might. But I think a lot of moms feel this way. None of us want to admit it. Parenting is hard. And that’s okay. So let’s not just bottle it all up. Let it out! We are allowed to be mad at our kids! We made them and raised them and love them so deep and so hard.… CONTINUE READING

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MOM FAIL

Last night I experienced a #MomFail I never thought I would get upset about. This story is actually pretty ridiculous but I need to share it with someone else so they can possibly share their disastrous Christmas tree story and make me feel better.

I decided that last night, I was going to pull all my Christmas decorations upstairs from the dusty basement. I am not the least bit crafty. I can’t make a wreath or gingerbread houses or even tie a bow that looks full and pretty. It just isn’t my thing. But I have always liked my Christmas tree.… CONTINUE READING

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MOM FAIL

Here we go again folks. The real just keeps getting realer. After my first mom guilt post, I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the other things I have done and continue to do that make me feel like shit about myself as a mother. I figured, hey, why not write another post about it. It’s kind of like therapy. I share the crappy things I do with the world, and you all make me feel a little better by admitting you have done the same. And you share the crappy things you do and we all sit by an imaginary bonfire, sing kumbaya and drink wine while ignoring our whining toddlers.… CONTINUE READING

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PARENTING

When I had Henry two and a half years ago, I had zero clue what I was doing. Zilch. When I went to register I almost had a panic attack. I had no idea you had to use special laundry detergent on baby clothes or that they were supposed to sleep in a bag that zips up the front. I didn’t know that some bottles had seven pieces and you could get a baby monitor with WiFi.

Needless to say, I was clueless about parenting. I was scared to hold babies because I didn’t want to drop them. So when everyone told me it would just come naturally I laughed in their faces.… CONTINUE READING

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PREGNANCY

I don’t know why I have such a hard time hitting publish on posts that aren’t humorous. It’s hard to be vulnerable and put the hard stuff out there. I don’t want people to judge me. I don’t want to offend someone. But I can’t make everyone happy and I’ve come to realize that. This post has been in my drafts for about two weeks. And I think today is the day to finally put it out there.

A lot of my posts have been about the guilt I feel when parenting, owning up to the fact that I am not the perfect mom and laughing at my stupid mistakes.… CONTINUE READING

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PARENTING

Okay working moms. You feel me already. You get up at five in the morning so you can get everyone ready and out the door and to the sitter and make sure the dog has food and you can actually make it to work on time without looking like a hot mess. You literally pull into your parking space at work like a Nascar driver and jump out of the car. Throwing random items in your purse – phone, water bottle, snack for later, car keys, chapstick, laptop, files, flats for when it’s too much to wear the heels. They all settle at the depths of your large mom purse/computer bag/diaper bag with the random baby sock and $4.62 in nickels, dimes and pennies.… CONTINUE READING

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PARENTING

I know it, this topic has been written about before. Multiple times. I’ve seen it in BuzzFeed, Scary Mommy, The Chive, etc. But I couldn’t help myself. My child has been crying all f**king weekend for no reason at all and I had to get it off my chest. Maybe this post is more for me to vent than to inform you. Call me selfish but I’m writing about it anyway.

Henry lives a very luxe life. He sleeps approximately twelve hours every night and also takes a three hour nap during the day. He isn’t potty trained yet so he doesn’t even have to move to go to the bathroom.… CONTINUE READING

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PREGNANCY

I have been debating back and forth on posting this. It has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I couldn’t seem to hit publish.  Everything else I have written thus far has been very light hearted. I have received a lot of comments from moms – and dads – telling me they love the blog and the fact that I get really real. So I have to get real with this one. It isn’t funny, it’s sad. And a little embarrassing. But it’s true. And I know there are probably a million other moms out there that need someone to relate to.… CONTINUE READING

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