36 is waking up in the middle of a global pandemic and trying not to lose your shit every single day.
36 is learning more about yourself but still feeling as clueless as you were at 25.
36 is still calling your mom because you still don’t sew and your kid needs dog ears by 8 am tomorrow morning.
36 is watching all the things we feared happening in the world actually coming true.
36 is trying not to let the insanity of the world break you down.
36 is laughing because you forgot to bring your mask when you get to the grocery store because you will probably cry if you don’t laugh.
36 is pushing through and wearing a smile so your children don’t realize just how scared you really are.
36 is knowing that someone will email me about the comment above and say that I don’t need to hide my emotions from my children.
36 is not letting that email bother me because we all think differently and I have enough negativity in my life.
36 is realizing that hiding all those negative emotions will cause you to have a panic attack in your living room because of a minor inconvenience.
36 is feeling guilty for having a panic attack because so many other are worse off.
36 is a lot of anger and sadness mixed with happiness and gratitude.
36 is only two months in and who knows what the next ten months will bring.
36 is holding onto your babies a little longer but also hiding from them in the bathroom.
36 is stealing a night away from the kids to reconnect with your spouse.
36 is realizing how hard life can really be.
36 is unfollowing people on social media because some people are toxic and don’t deserve your brainpower.
36 is watching Tiger King because that deserves your brainpower.
36 is quarantine and worry and being glad you actually like your family the majority of the time.
36 is finding your child’s max volume.
36 is finding the max volume of a class of kindergarteners on Zoom.
36 is teaching kindergarten which you thought would be cake but it’s like teaching a mini version of yourself.
36 is realizing that your children also acquire your worst traits.
36 is loving your children anyway because they are just so adorable when they sleep.
36 is regretting watching your kid sleep because now he’s awake and want you to sleep in his twin bed with him that has always smells kind of funky no matter how many times you wash the sheets.
36 feels like a test and I’m still not 100% sure this isn’t the end of the whole shebang.
36 has been like making lemonade out of lemons but not having any sugar.
36 still has quite a few more months.
36 is a year that we will never forget.
Until Next Time,