Yesterday was my 34th birthday.

In my personal opinion, my life is really just beginning. It was five years ago yesterday that my husband proposed to me in our backyard.

We now have two beautiful and crazy little boys. We have a home, a dog, good jobs, good health, cars, and all those other blessings we tend to forget about when things start going a way we don’t expect.

To commemorate my 34th birthday, I wanted to write about 34 things I have learned in my 34 years here on Earth.

Disclaimer: If you do not agree with these points, I honestly don’t care. So please don’t send me a mean message. I do not mean to personally offend any one in particular.

  1. It’s the little things that count, like a hand-written thank you note or smiling at someone in passing. It could end up making someone’s day.
  2. Karma’s a bitch.
  3. We are in charge of our own happiness. If you aren’t happy, make a change.
  4. You can’t open a different business in an old fast food building. That Enterprise Rent-A-Car on Frederica Street will always be a Pizza Hut in my heart.
  5. Don’t settle for anything.
  6. Don’t give a single f*#k about what anyone else thinks about you. They are probably an asshole anyway.
  7. Social media is a highlight reel of everyone else’s lives. That is the reason I haven’t changed my profile picture on Facebook in over two years. Because I feel like I look skinny in it.
  8. Treat yo’ self!
  9. The tanning bed is a really bad idea. You cannot cover up tanning bed burn with makeup. I learned that lesson the hard way.
  10. Change is inevitable, so you might as well embrace it.
  11. Don’t drink straight tequila on the beach on an empty stomach on Spring Break.
  12. Don’t pierce your belly button. One day you will get pregnant, the hole will stretch and it will never go back.
  13. Don’t judge other people’s life decisions.
  14. No one knows it all, even Lisa, the internet troll. I hope you are reading this Lisa.
  15. You will never be able to make everyone happy and trying will be exhausting.
  16. Work hard for what you are passionate about.
  17. Don’t take a toddler in a public restroom unless it is 1000% necessary. They will do something that will make you want to vomit.
  18. Potty training your kid is much harder than you think it will be.
  19. Parenting in general is a real shit show.
  20. Marry someone who shows respect to you and everyone else is his or her life.
  21. Kids can be total assholes but I promise that having them is worth it.
  22. You will have absolutely terrible days but they will always be balanced out by wonderful ones.
  23. Make a bucket list and actually make sure you do the things on it. I’m still waiting for someone I don’t know to make me a Wikipedia page.
  24. Don’t worry so much, it’s a waste of time and energy.
  25. Don’t put anything on the internet you don’t want your grandparents, children or boss to see.
  26. Naps are life changing.
  27. Even if you suck at dancing, do it. Everyone on the dance floor is normally drunk so don’t worry about how you look.
  28. Find an amazing group of friends and hold onto them tight.
  29. Live by yourself for at least one year of your life. You will learn a lot about yourself. I learned I needed to marry someone that cooks. And I did. #Score
  30. Don’t use wire hangers. They will for sure jack up your clothes.
  31. It’s okay to make mistakes. Sometimes they end up being some of the best things that happen to you.
  32. If you leave a group text for any reason, you are going to look like a bitch.
  33. Figure out your own beliefs. You don’t have to continue thinking and living the same way your parents raised you.
  34. Don’t buy bathing suits off the internet. They will not fit you 92% of the time.

These are just a handful of the things I have learned over the last 34 years. I am not old and wise and do not pretend to be. Do with it what you will.

Until Next Time,