I feel like self-care has become such a buzzword lately. It’s everywhere, mostly in parenting blogs, like mine – HA.
“Moms need to take care of themselves! You have to practice self-care to be a balanced human and a good parent and spouse. Blah blah blah.”
But seriously, who has time for self-care? To me, it feels like just another task that has to be completed, and if it’s between me doing the laundry and going to see a movie by myself, I’m going to do the laundry.
I know, the laundry will wait for me. It’s not moving.
No shit, my laundry hasn’t moved without my help over the last ten years.
But you know what is waiting? The anxiety I would feel sitting in a movie theater trying to enjoy myself knowing that I have a mountain of laundry waiting for me at home THAT ISN’T MOVING WITHOUT ME DOING IT. It is only multiplying.
I decided to do a little research about self-care. I was hoping maybe I was getting this all wrong and self-care is actually much easier and I won’t need a babysitter and I can do it in five minutes and feel like a new person.
But no, not so much.
According to PsychCentral.com, “Self-care is any activity that we deliberately do in order to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others.”
Here is the picture they have next to it. Let’s discuss this photo as well.
- Who is this woman and why is she in a field of sunflowers?
- Why is she so happy?
- Have I missed the key to happiness?
- I would totally need a spray tan to wear that dress.
- Does she have an Instagram husband?
- I hope this is a stock photo.
- WHAT THE FUCK? I do not feel like that after a massage.
- Well shit, is that why I come off as so bitchy sometimes?
I guess I don’t need to stand in a field of sunflowers with a fresh spray tan and sunglasses to feel happy and relaxed. I would have had to give my kids baths after getting my spray tan so there would be water streaks up my arms. I would NOT look like that in that dress. And I would probably get stung by a bee and yell at my husband to get my EpiPen out of my purse.
Disclaimer: That is the caption that appeared when I posted this photo and I don’t know how to remove it.
But, in all honesty, self-care is important. It makes sure we don’t turn into angry moms that yell at our kids all the time instead of some of the time. It gives us time to ourselves because one day our kids will be gone from the house and we will have to spend time finding ourselves again. We will need to remember what we enjoy doing in our free time.
So here is my secret. I do practice self care, and it is not easy. It is literally something I check off my list five to six days a week. So what do I manage to do?
I spend thirty minutes each morning working out. Yes, I have to wake up at 4:30 am in the morning just to make that happen. Yes, I know I sound crazy, but that literally might be the only thirty minutes I get to myself every day. And it is something I do solely for me, because it makes me feel better about myself and gives me energy. It’s my time to clear my head.
And no, I don’t go to a gym every morning. I work out in my basement and do videos before the kids wake up. Before we moved, I worked out in the living room in about a ten foot space.
So, yes, maybe your self-care needs to be a box to check each day. Something that you have to force yourself out of bed to do, but it’s worth it. Something that you do besides the laundry or the dishes or vacuuming. Something that actually makes you forget about your chores for a short amount of time.
So give it a shot, even if you think I’m off my rocker and there is no way in hell you have time for self-care. You have time, you just have to make it happen.
Start small, with something simple, like locking the door when you take a shower so you don’t have a four-year old asking you questions while you try to wash your hair. Maybe you can hide in a closet and drink your coffee away from the grasps of those tiny, grubby hands. Maybe you need to stand in a field full of sunflowers with your sunglasses on. I don’t know, whatever floats your boat.
Just try it. Stop making excuses. You don’t have to watch a movie by yourself or go get a massage or stand in a field of flowers or vacation in Italy. You just need a quick mental escape. We give so much of ourselves to everyone, we need to save a little bit for us.
Until Next Time,