I never started this blog thinking of it as being faith-based. I actually tried to stray from it because I felt like it would alienate some readers. It was a parenting blog. From a parent that knew nothing about parenting. I wanted other parents to realize that they weren’t alone in this crazy, scary, yet oddly satisfying journey.
And people read it. And they liked it. And it became something that I have been really proud of.
I have received some negative feedback from people when I cussed or talked about drinking in my posts.
But hey, I was writing about real life. And real life gets messy. Moms cuss. We lose our tempers. We drink some wine to chill out when our children are being tiny little demons.
Also, I was raised as a Catholic. I attended Catholic schools from Kindergarten all the way through high school. So of course I drink and cuss.
But let’s get to the real reason I’m writing this. The last five months or so had been tough on me. I wrote about it and about how I’m feeling much better now.
So now I want to write about my journey with my faith. I feel compelled to write this. I’m not sure why – I just do. It actually makes me feel extremely uncomfortable because I’m putting something out there that I normally don’t talk about. But if this helps one person or speaks to someone, it was worth it.
A lot of what I think helped me through the last five months was my faith.
I haven’t always been a good Christian. There are times in my life where I can say I was probably a very bad Christian and my relationship with God wasn’t good. But I know at those times He was waiting for me to find my way back to him after making some bad life choices.
I stopped attending Catholic Church around my sophomore year of college. I had moved away from home a year before and realized for the first time there were things that I didn’t 100% agree with. I struggled with that.
When I moved back home to Owensboro about seven years later, I got married and had a sweet baby boy – my now four-year old Henry. I had not attended any sort of church in about seven years.
I started reading self-improvement books because I felt like there was something missing in my life. And one of those books mentioned a vision board. Making a board of goals for the year that are visual representations of what you want to accomplish. It sounded super cheesy, but I did it anyway. And on my board, I had that I wanted to find a church to attend.
I talked to my husband about it, and we started attending his childhood church, which is Lutheran. I loved it because it was very close to Catholicism-without some of the things I personally had issues with. But most of all I loved the people there. They embraced us with open arms and made us feel so welcome. I was confirmed in the church and later both of my sons were baptized there as well.
Disclaimer: None of this is about what religion you are or aren’t. It’s about my personal experience.
This is where my relationship with God started to become stronger. And I started to feel like that missing piece was there.
So when I went through a rough time recently, I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. People would tell me that everything happens for a reason and I honestly do believe that. But I didn’t want to think that these negative things were happening to me for a reason. I only wanted to believe that in good times.
I had to turn to God to help me get through the darkness. It was hard and I didn’t always believe that He really had a plan for me. But He does. He has a plan for each and every one of us. And sometimes we have to struggle to make it through the hard times. And we might doubt his presence in our lives. But He is always there with us. You just have to believe.
I felt like I was falling short when I found out that the bank I had recently started working for didn’t have a place for me in their marketing department while merging with a larger bank. They had a position for me, which I was incredibly thankful for, but it didn’t feel right. So I looked for other jobs and ended up finding one at a mental health facility. I chose to leave the bank and have been working at the mental health facility for a couple weeks.
After my past experiences with depression and anxiety, I realized that this is where I need to be. It took a long roundabout way for God to get me here, but it was all in his plan. And I’m a stronger person now for going through that experience.
I’m sure you have heard the song, You Say by Lauren Daigle, but if you haven’t listened to it, you should. It’s a great reminder that even when we are feeling lost or that we are falling short, that God loves us and is simply waiting for us with open arms to come back to Him.
So if anyone out there is struggling with life or faith or finances or any of those adult things we have to deal with daily, listen to this song. And say a prayer. Because He is always listening.
Until Next Time,