My summer beach vacation has come and gone. I am so sad that it is over.

Each year, me, my husband and two little boys travel to Hilton Head to spend the week on the beach with the whole Johnson clan. We look forward to it all year long, and this year was no different.

The day before we left, I had approximately 47 lists of everything we needed to pack. I decided to take the minimal approach, so I only packed enough for a small village, instead of a large village, like usual.

You never know when you might need a cable-knit sweater or rain boots at the beach.

Each year, I promise myself that I won’t pack that much ever again.


Because we literally wear the same clothes the entire time we are there. I could pack bathing suits and diapers and we would be fine.

Yes, I wash these clothes but our main goal is comfort. And to me, comfort equals leggings and tank tops.

Here is the deal. When it comes to vacation, I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F-BOMB.

Vacation is for relaxing, and damnit, I’m going to relax if it kills me.

If my five year old wants to watch Captain Underpants six hours a day, I don’t care.

If my two year old wants to eat mac and cheese for every single meal, I don’t care.

If my husband wants to lay around and drink beer then play bocce ball, more power to him.

Everyone can do their own thing, as long as Mommy gets her alone time and a massage.

My vacations are somewhere between making memories and do whatever the hell you want as long as I can’t hear you. It’s kind of like the weekend, but with better weather and lower standards. Much lower standards.

Give the kids all the candy. Let them eat the ice cream. Let them climb the 144 steps to the top of the lighthouse to get a sticker. Let them ride the waves and play in the ocean and dig in the sand and build sand castles and do cannonballs into the pool.

Because that is what they will remember. They will remember fondly the one week a year that Mommy didn’t give a shit and let them do whatever they wanted.

And that she helped build the best sandcastle ever all while holding a beer in one hand.

So if you want to have an actual relaxing vacation with low stress and happy kids, lower your standards. Let them stay up late. Let them sleep in. Let them watch tv and be lazy.

Because that’s what vacation is for. Revitalizing yourself to step back into the real world.

So here I am real world, and I am ready to take you on for another 51 weeks until I get to go on vacation again.

Until Next Time,