Three and a half weeks. Just three and a half more weeks until this baby enters the world. Three and a half really long, super uncomfortable, very swollen weeks. Three and a half more weeks of people asking me when the baby is due and then looking shocked when I tell them I still have almost a month to go.

There is a laundry list of things I have three and half weeks left of. I am going to summarize some of the most asked questions below. Not that they really bother me, but because it is becoming difficult to talk with this large child crushing all my organs.

  • People routinely ask me if I’m hot. Yes, I am extremely hot. Can you not see the beads of sweat rolling down my face? That is not my “glow”. It is 97 degrees outside with 400% humidity in Kentucky and I am carrying a child the size of a large cantaloupe in my uterus.
  • A couple people have asked me if I was aware of how swollen I am. Yes, I am very aware of it. I don’t wear the same pair of flip flops every day because I like how they leave creases in my very fat feet. I wear them because they are the only pair of footwear I can actually fit my feet into.
  • No, I am not pregnant with twins. I am 100% sure of it. I have had multiple ultrasounds and think the doctor would have updated me by now if my son had suddenly turned into two babies.
  • Yes, I have mom brain and yes, it is real. I cannot remember a damn thing. My head is constantly foggy. All I can think about is when I get to eat again and if I can squeeze in a nap anytime throughout the day.
  • Yes, I am so ready to have this baby, and no, I am not ready to have this baby. Physically, I would be completely fine with having this sweet kiddo tomorrow. But I am in no way emotionally prepared. Is anyone ever really completely prepared to add another baby to the family?
  • My three year old, Henry, has ZERO idea what is going on. He is going to be crazy disappointed when this baby comes home from the hospital with us. And sharing attention is not his jam. Logan and I have tried multiple times to explain to him that his little brother in mommy’s belly is coming to live with us soon, but poor guy just can’t grasp the concept.
  • Yes, I am having a c-section. It is already scheduled for July 20th. Henry was a sizable 9 pounds, 2 ounces at birth. I had to have a c-section after three hours of pushing. Though this baby is not measuring as large as Henry was at this point, I still expect to have at least an eight pounder.
  • No, I do not plan on nursing. I had a bad experience with it the first time around. Coupled with my postpartum depression, I felt it was best for both me and the baby to stick to formula this time around. This is a very personal decision so please don’t leave any negative comments below. I won’t reply to them.
  • Yes, my hair and nails are growing at a very rapid pace. Oddly enough, so are my eyebrows. Each time I look at them in my makeup mirror I see Bert from Sesame Street with his unibrow. 
  • Yes, I do plan on losing my baby weight at some point, but I am not going to stress myself out about it. Pregnancy does not look good on me. I have come to terms with that. My belly grows to be extremely large, as well as every other part of my body. I had to take my rings off at 18 weeks because my hands were already so swollen. It has taken me nine months to put this weight on, and it’s okay if it takes nine months to get it off. My body has also spent the last nine months creating a human and I think it deserves a little time to rest after this.
  • I do plan on taking advantage of pain medication during child birth. Child birth is supposed to be the most pain a woman will ever experience. If I can dull that pain even a little, bring it on. I do not think that downplays the fact that I have created a tiny human that will be surgically removed from my body. Then my organs will be rearranged and I will be sewn back up. And even after having a major surgery, I will have to take care of that tiny human and keep it alive. So yes, give me all the drugs.

All in all, three and a half weeks isn’t all that long. I will miss feeling my sweet baby boy kicking in my belly. But, to be honest, that is about the only thing I will miss. And yes, this is the last child we plan on having so after this, I can kiss my special fat feet flip flops and black maternity maxi dress goodbye forever!

Until Next Time,