I have had a lot of quality time with my kiddos lately. As in I feel like they never leave my side when we are at home. Mama can’t get a moment of peace and quiet.

It’s baseball season and with my husband being the head coach of a high school baseball team, we don’t see him much from February – late May.

So unless we are at one of Logan’s games, it’s just me and the boys, hanging out at home.

If you are not a regular reader of my blog, you will need to know that “my boys” consist of a 75 pound black lab named Newman, an overly energetic and absolutely hilarious three year old named Henry and Baby Simon, my nine month old that literally just smiles and giggles. All. The. Time. The kid is my soul child. He has me wrapped around his tiny finger.

So Henry and I have been hanging out much more lately. His personality has really come out more since he started going to preschool this year and he is so funny.

We randomly have a globe in our playroom.

The globe is not there because Logan and I want our children to be worldly. We have it there because I used to keep it on my desk at work – in my pre-children and marriage era. I thought it made me look smarter and it was a great conversation starter. I also had an autographed photo of Josh Mankiewicz, the guy from Dateline, standing in a lineup with Hoda Kotb and Keith Morrison. I have now traded that desk space for pictures of my kiddos and husband and the globe got the boot. And it ended up in the playroom because we moved and I’m a lazy unpacker.

Henry asked me to get it down for him the other night. We looked at it together and I explained what it was to him.

Disclaimer: As I was explaining the earth and globe to my three year old, i was thinking, “Man, I am totally killing this parenting thing right now.”

Henry picked up the globe and expressed his disappointment that it wasn’t a ball he could play with. It was a very sobering moment.

He then asked if he could watch Play-Doh eggs on my phone.

I agreed because i was tired and wanted to binge on more Gossip Girl on Netflix. Judge all you want but that show will forever be one of my favorites. I still aspire to be Serena Van der Woodsen.

I sat on the couch and turned on the tv. Henry sat as close to me as humanly possible without sitting on top of my head and I turned on YouTube kids for him.

He immediately found one of those videos where they have the Play-Doh eggs and they open them and get toys out. I had never actually watched one of those videos, I have no interest in Play-Doh eggs…or so I thought.

One hour later, I was as mesmerized as my three year old at a Play-Doh egg video.

Just a few thoughts I had during the egg video:

  • Who in the HELL has the time to make these videos?
  • Do they get paid to do this?
  • Why is the same lady IN EVERY VIDEO?
  • Why don’t they show her face?
  • Is someone taping this for her or did she prop up an iPad?
  • This would be even weirder if she did this alone in her home.
  • How does she afford all those toys? Those things are expensive.
  • I hope she gets some sort of commission from these toy companies.
  • Is she 12 because her nail polish selections are super sparkly.
  • How does she know the name of each and every character from about 600 lines of teeny tiny toys?
  • How long does it take to put the Play-Doh on the eggs? Some of the designs are pretty intense.
  • Why do all of these toys come with collectors guides? Do kids really care about that stuff?
  • Can you actually buy Play’Doh eggs like that somewhere?
  • Who had the idea to make these videos? Were they on drugs?

So I’m sitting, watching, and thinking all these thoughts when Sparkly Nail Polish lady tears the Play-Doh off an egg that looks like a superhero. It might have been Superman, but I’m not positive. She revealed a very large pink egg underneath. When she opened the egg, there was a full sized, stuffed Boss Baby on the inside.

This is the most embarrassing thing I have written in my life, but I gasped out loud when she opened that stupid f’ing egg. Like straight up gasped at the exact same time as my three-year-old. I had the same thought as my preschooler as we watched a Play-Doh egg video together.

He is obviously my child.

After the gasping incident, I had to tear myself away from the egg videos. I was so upset with myself for getting so excited over a full-sized Boss Baby.

Disclaimer: He was pretty cute though. He had a suit on and everything.

I have not watched an egg video in a few days. But I can no longer talk shit about how horrible it is that my son likes watching those videos. Because in a moment of weakness, I liked those videos too.

Until Next Time,

Jamie

 

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