MOM FAIL

I keep ideas that I have for blog posts in the Notes section on my phone. If I have a random thought, I jot it down in there and look back when it’s time to get to writing.

Today I felt the need to tell this story of true and honest mom failure. It was a hot mess express and I don’t know why I ever attempt to do anything with grace and tact.

So here’s the deal. Why is taking a baby somewhere in the rain a total f-ing shit show? As in, I would rather just stay home but unfortunately not wanting to get out in the rain is not an acceptable excuse to skip your child’s doctor’s appointment.… CONTINUE READING

I am a full-time working mom with two little boys and a full-time working husband. I try to juggle all the balls without dropping any, but no one ever taught me how to juggle and I have no hand-eye coordination.

That leads me to the fact that I am late for work a lot. Not super late, maybe just a few minutes. But I am a perfectionist – at least when it comes to my work – and that drives me insane.

And who on came up with working 9-5? Where do they work? Do they eat lunch? Because I have to be at work at 8 am.… CONTINUE READING

In a post from about a year ago, I wrote that not all of us can be like Joanna Gaines and have a farmhouse-style kitchen table hand-crafted by a man named Clint.

Then, what do you know, Christmas rolled around and I ended up with a handmade, farmhouse-style kitchen table. It was crafted by a man named Thomas, not Clint, and it is beautiful.

And yes, that is the only item in my house that even slightly resembles anything Joanna Gaines would partially consider placing in her immaculate home with no TVs.

So why did I end up with this beautiful table?… CONTINUE READING

It was about a year ago that I stumbled across an article bashing “Bad Mom” blogs. It referred to the moms that write about drinking, cussing and making bad parenting decisions. It pretty much called them the scum of the earth. That they ignored their children and were only worried about likes on Instagram and page views.

I was a bit offended.

I write about drinking. I also cuss. And I have made my fair share of bad parenting decisions.

But how dare he call me a bad mom! I don’t even use Instagram!

So I moved on with my life.… CONTINUE READING

On Friday, July 20th, my family embarked on our annual Hilton Head vacation. We left mid-day. I spent the morning running around frantically packing for myself and my two little boys, who are one and four. Then I made a stop at the nail salon because my toes needed some real TLC.

I got home around noon and the loading of the car began. I fed the baby while Logan, my husband, squeezed as much as he could into the back of my mom crossover SUV with two car seats in the back.

When it was almost time to go, Logan snapped Henry into his car seat, I loaded up Baby Simon, and we were on our way.CONTINUE READING

I am leaving for vacation in approximately 24 hours and I have not packed a damn thing. I went into this with the best of intentions. But when you have kids, packing all of a sudden becomes 7 million times more difficult.

I have realized that there are three stages of packing when you have children.

The First Stage: The List

I sat down and made a list of things that needed to be packed – one for me, one for Henry, my four year old, and one for Simon, who is one.

My list was obviously the longest because I am an avid over-packer.CONTINUE READING

Over the last few weeks, the topics I have been writing about have been very heavy, such as Cy Baby’s developmental issues and my own issues with depression.

So for my own sake and my selfish reasons, I am changing it up today. Yes, I like to be real and talk about real life issues. But I also try to be a glass half-full type of person. I try to look on the bright side. I let myself have my sad time on the couch crying, but pick myself back up, put on some pants that don’t have an elastic waistband, and pull my shit together after searching for a ponytail holder for 45 minutes.… CONTINUE READING

I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I honestly feel like I’ve lost my mom mojo.

You know, the little bit of life left in you that makes you a great mom some days and gives you the energy to plan a Batman-themed party for your kid’s upcoming birthday. The one that makes you want to actually clean out the diaper bag and scrub tiny little hand prints off the walls.

I feel like I’ve been in this rut for a few months. Like lately I’ve always been the mean mom that yells at her kids too much and constantly has resting bitch face.… CONTINUE READING

Play Doh Egg

I have had a lot of quality time with my kiddos lately. As in I feel like they never leave my side when we are at home. Mama can’t get a moment of peace and quiet.

It’s baseball season and with my husband being the head coach of a high school baseball team, we don’t see him much from February – late May.

So unless we are at one of Logan’s games, it’s just me and the boys, hanging out at home.

If you are not a regular reader of my blog, you will need to know that “my boys” consist of a 75 pound black lab named Newman, an overly energetic and absolutely hilarious three year old named Henry and Baby Simon, my nine month old that literally just smiles and giggles.… CONTINUE READING

I am writing another selfish blog post. A post because I’m at the tip of the mom iceberg. Because I just can’t.

So cliche of me to use that term – just can’t – but it feels like the only way to explain my life at this moment.

I thought about possibly not writing this post at all, because I would sound like all I did was complain. But hey, we all need some time to vent and this is much cheaper than therapy.

And I also thought, you know, there might actually be another mom out there reading this post that just yelled at her 3 year old to GO TO BED for the sixth time and will feel a little better knowing she isn’t the only one.… CONTINUE READING