I am a full-time working mom with two little boys and a full-time working husband. I try to juggle all the balls without dropping any, but no one ever taught me how to juggle and I have no hand-eye coordination.

That leads me to the fact that I am late for work a lot. Not super late, maybe just a few minutes. But I am a perfectionist – at least when it comes to my work – and that drives me insane.

And who on came up with working 9-5? Where do they work? Do they eat lunch? Because I have to be at work at 8 am.

So I have come up with ten completely legitimate reasons that I might be late for work every day.

1. I have to drop my preschooler off at school. Why can’t there be an express drop-off lane? I can’t hand my child to his teacher through the window? That would really streamline the drop-off system.
2. More than likely, I watched a Matt Bellasai To Be Honest video on Facebook while I was supposed to be drying my hair and now I’m re-watching all of them because that dude is legit hilarious.
3. I was tracking one of my many monthly subscription boxes or Amazon orders. I think I might have an online shopping issue.
4. I was thinking about what I was going to wear for my Halloween costume of “Basic Bitch”. Then I looked in my closet and realized I had a lot to choose from while I listened to “Always Be My Baby” by Mariah Carey and sipping a Venti Latte from Starbucks in my Uggs.
5. I googled all the reasons that I wake up every single morning with a headache, completely ignoring the fact that my dentist told me it was because I grind my teeth and need a mouth guard. Now I’m googling additional colon cancer symptoms on Web MD and making out a will in my mind.
6. I asked my kid to put his shoes on or get dressed or eat breakfast or go potty and he had a complete and total meltdown.
7. I couldn’t find my shoes. This has turned into quite an issue. Seems that my children think hiding them is hilarious and watching me scream, “Where did you put them? We are going to be so f’ing late!” is equally as hilarious. I usually find them about ten minutes later in the toy box, inside a drum, or in the drawer with the Tupperware lids.
8. A kid either pooped on me, spit up on me or vomited on me and I had to take another shower and/or change my clothes. It shocks me how often this happens. And always at the last minute. Putting the baby in his carseat to head to garage and he just projectile vomits all over me. Then giggles. I’m glad you feel better kid but this is a disaster.
9. I forgot something. I forget a lot of things. A lot of times. Sometimes I make it all the way to the office before I realize that my laptop is on the kitchen counter at home. Somedays I have to go back home to grab my cardigan because when you are mom, cardigans are a necessary wardrobe staple and my office is always freezing. Or I forgot that one document that I put in a special place so I wouldn’t forget it only to forget it and also forget where the special place I wouldn’t forget is.
10. I listened to a New Kids on the Block Essentials playlist and got so sucked back into my childhood that I completely blacked out and lost track of time. “Tonight” is my personal favorite. I can sing and dance to that all day long.

So the next time a mom in your office is running a few minutes late for work, remember that it is for a completely legitimate reason. Maybe her kids threw her shoes in the trash. She might have gotten pooped on three times. Or she spent 20 minutes singing “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys into her full length mirror.

Totally legit reason. Too legit to quit. HEY HEY!

Until Next Time,

Jamie