There is not one person in the world that has all the answers. No one knows it all.
Is that a ballsy thing to say?
Some would say so. Like Lisa, the internet troll, that likes to leave absolutely horrendous comments on any post I have up on a popular parenting Facebook page.
Being a parenting blogger with no true expert opinion, I get A LOT of negative comments. I try not to read them but I just can’t help myself! And I knew that when I started blogging this would happen. I’m a storyteller people, not a professional. I’m in marketing. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Communication, not Parenting.
One of the comments I get the most from internet trolls and the like is that I am insecure.
The first time someone told me that, I was like, “Ummm – is that supposed to be a bad thing?” because I’m pretty sure that I am insecure and I don’t see it as a bad trait, especially as the mom to a four year- old and a one year-old.
Let’s be transparent here. The definition of insecure is to be unconfident or uncertain, anxious.
Well that about defines my entire life in general. Add in awkward and uncoordinated and a picture of my face pops up.
Of course I’m insecure. I have openly admitted that I have zero idea what I am doing while raising my children. All I have is the love in my heart, my mom’s cell phone number, Google and alcohol.
If I was 100% sure of every choice I made, this parenting thing would be pretty easy.
But instead, life goes more like this.
4 year old: Throws tantrum in the middle of Target because he cannot have a squishy out of the $1 bin with about 8,976 people standing around.
Me: Mother of F’ing Hell. What am I supposed to do? I could leave him lying on the ground screaming, ignore him and walk away but then he might get kidnapped, which is highly doubtful because most people look absolutely terrified of him and his demonic behavior.
Instead, I lower myself to his level on the moderately clean but still pretty gross floor and whisper in his ear, “If you ever want to come to Target again or see the light of day, you will get up off this floor.”
Oddly enough, it worked. I was worried that I would get the opposite reaction and he would scream help or something equally as awful but instead got up like nothing happened.
Another example of it being okay to be insecure:
After I had my first little boy, I worked out like a beast and lost my baby weight very fast. Looking back, I am super impressed with that bounce back. This time around, it has been a year and I still haven’t gotten rid of all the baby weight. I work out six days a week but I drink beer and eat tacos. You know, that #balanced life.
But I am insecure of my body. I don’t look in the mirror without thinking I’d look a little better with ten less pounds and some perkier boobs. But that’s okay. It’s okay to not love every inch of your body. It’s part of life.
My final example of being insecure:
I did not breastfeed my Cy Baby because of my issues with Postpartum Depression after my first pregnancy. I wanted to be cautious and take my medicine after having him, and not risk another mental breakdown.
Was I 100% confident in this decision? HELL NO! I was scared to death. When he started missing his large motor developmental milestones, I became much more insecure of that decision.
But in my heart, I know this is not my fault. We have taken him to see a pediatric neurologist and he reassured us that some children develop slower than others. As long as he continues making progress like he is now, there is no reason to do additional testing. So in the meantime, we will focus on his physical therapy and be happy that this is not a larger problem.
So if you are feeling insecure about any decision you have made lately, whether it be with parenting or life in general – don’t worry. It’s normal. We don’t have to lie and act like we know it all. And if we didn’t make mistakes, how would we ever learn?
Until Next Time,