I know it, this topic has been written about before. Multiple times. I’ve seen it in BuzzFeed, Scary Mommy, The Chive, etc. But I couldn’t help myself. My child has been crying all f**king weekend for no reason at all and I had to get it off my chest. Maybe this post is more for me to vent than to inform you. Call me selfish but I’m writing about it anyway.

Henry lives a very luxe life. He sleeps approximately twelve hours every night and also takes a three hour nap during the day. He isn’t potty trained yet so he doesn’t even have to move to go to the bathroom. His grandparents spoil him absolutely rotten, and I won’t lie, I do too. So when he throws temper tantrums I get crazy irritated. Like, don’t you know how awesome your life is?? Can I sit in a recliner on the weekends drinking milk and watching cartoons on Netflix with no interruptions except for getting served piping hot waffles covered in maple syrup?

Disclaimer: My dream day is to lay on the couch all day eating pizza and cheeseburgers while drinking red wine and binging on Netflix. And not having a hangover the next day. I really need to make that happen.

Disclaimer #2: The disclaimer above makes me sound like I live a really pathetic life. But I need to finish the last season of Revenge uninterrupted. With alcohol. And food.

Here are a few of the things Henry cried about this weekend in no particular order.

  • He got juice instead of milk.
  • I gave him milk but then he wanted juice.
  • His oatmeal was too hot. Then too cold ten minutes later.
  • He put oatmeal in his hair.
  • His Dad came downstairs.
  • The dog licked his leg.
  • I changed his diaper.
  • He wanted to watch Jake instead of Mickey.
  • He watched Jake for 15 minutes and wanted to watch Mickey again.
  • He wanted to give the dog a kiss and Newman wouldn’t kiss him.
  • He wanted to build a sand castle but we didn’t have sand.
  • I don’t know what he was crying about the next time. Cue the nap.
  • He gets up from his nap and I tell him we are going to see Paw Patrol Live. He wants to see Mickey instead.
  • We get to our seats at Paw Patrol and he sits on the floor and cries that he doesn’t like Paw Patrol. I bribe him with popcorn and all is well.


Disclaimer: He ended up loving Paw Patrol Live but I thought it was kind of creepy. Adults dressed up as dogs racing around the stage and doing choreographed dances was just really odd. Whoever played Mayor Goodway was on point though. Props to you Mayor Goodway.

  • We went to church.
  • He ran into a pew at church. Really hard. That one did have to hurt.
  • He crawled under the pew and got stuck.
  • His blocks fell over.
  • He woke up from a nap.
  • He couldn’t fit another block into the back of his tricycle.
  • I sat in his wagon.
  • Leaves were falling.
  • He couldn’t go in the house through the side door. It was locked.
  • His Mickey Mouse wouldn’t play the Hot Dog song.
  • He wanted to read a book but not one of the 5,000 he has.
  • I closed the baby gate to his playroom.
  • Newman knocked his teepee down and chewed on it.
  • He tripped over his feet about 30 times.
  • He climbed in his toy box and got stuck.
  • I wouldn’t let him put puzzle pieces in his ears.
  • He wanted a robot. I’m still confused about that one.
  • His eyes were yucky????? No clue.
  • I told him he couldn’t say the word shit. I know, major mom fail. I’m working on it.

That’s the short version of the list. Henry is like a Sour Patch kid. He cries over something ridiculous, then will crawl up in my lap and snuggle with me and melt my heart. Then he pulls my hair, laughs and runs away. Haha.

Pretty much this kid is livin’ la vida loca. And as frustrated as I get with him, he is so much fun. I never know what to expect and that definitely keeps life exciting. I have moments where I cry with him and moments where we laugh together. And moments when I laugh at him because he’s crying. Haha. Don’t judge, you’ve done it too.

Until Next Time,

Jamie

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