The last few weeks have been a real shit storm.
I thought that the dust had finally settled and I had caught up with life, but then my three year old decided to give up his nap. This is a difficult time for me, because I love napping as well. I also love spending time alone.
So currently my three year old is screaming at me that he is “so angry and so sad” because I won’t let him watch tv.
So I did something that I would completely have frowned upon before I had kids. Or even have audibly gasped about. And most definitely would have judged a mom for.
I put in my headphones, plugged them into my phone, put them on full blast and am completely ignoring the shit show going on in front of me.
So here’s the deal. After a REALLY long day yesterday of attempting to get the kid to nap, I decided that I would implement “quiet time” today.
Haha, that’s funny. Why did I think that would work?
I put the baby down for a nap, turned off the tv, helped Henry gather all of his superheroes from his playroom, and told him that it was quiet time.
Baby Simon was going to take a nap, he could play superheroes in his bedroom and I was going to have quiet time too.
It sounded like the best idea ever. To me at least.
He initially took the bait and played quietly for at least 3.5 minutes. Then I heard him rolling down the stairs.
Yes, my three year old rolls down the stairs. He really knows how to make an entrance.
Disclaimer: Don’t act like you never rode down your stairs in a laundry basket or on a mattress. If you did not, I am sorry because you missed out on a lot of fun, some carpet burn and possibly a broken bone or two.
Henry landed with a thud at the foot of the stairs. I had settled on the couch with my lunch and had turned on The Crown on Netflix. I have now been watching it in six minute increments for six months. Somehow I have managed to make it to episode five.
I told him to go back upstairs because it was quiet time. He told me I was being bossy. I told him I’m his mommy and I can be bossy any time I want. That’s my job.
He stomped his foot and started one of his tantrums.
Ugh. So a sentence came out of my mind that I will regret until the next time he pisses me off.
I said, “You can either go upstairs and have quiet time or you have to help Mommy clean the house.”
I was thinking there was zero way he would rather help me clean than play upstairs with his beloved superheroes.
I was wrong. He said he wanted to help clean.
So I shoveled down the rest of my leftover spaghetti and turned off The Crown because it would be a crime for me to watch more than six minutes of it at a time.
Now I had to clean. Damnit. Talk about a plan backfiring.
So I told him we were going to do the dishes. I unloaded the dishes from the dishwasher and he had to hand me the dirty dishes from the sink and I would load them. Two broken glasses later, the dishes were done.
By then he realized he had made a mistake and maybe superheroes were a better choice. He quietly made his way upstairs and I patted myself on the back for a job well done.
I turned The Crown back on. Six minutes later, Henry came rolling down the stairs again. I told him to get upstairs for quiet time or he had to help me with the laundry.
This launched him into the tantrum he is still throwing in front of me while I type this.
He is crying, kicking, yelling and pulling out his best pouty lip.
So like I mentioned earlier, I put my headphones on, put my favorite playlist on, and did something that I wanted to do this weekend anyway but had been putting off – I’m writing a new blog post.
I will now admit that in the middle of typing this, I finally turned on the TV for my kid because I was tired of hearing him complain. But Netflix won’t load because I am on my computer. I tried to explain net neutrality to my three year old but he couldn’t grasp the concept.
They say all of us millennial moms take parenting too seriously. Maybe we do. Maybe we just really love our kids. Maybe we feel a lot of pressure to be perfect parents because of social media and Pinterest and gluten-free popcorn fundraisers that are due on Tuesday and I haven’t sold any.
Disclaimer: If anyone would like a $15 bag of gluten free popcorn, let me know soon.
So today I’m doing what my mom would have done to me 30 years ago. I’m ignoring my child and doing whatever the hell I want to do.
So you do you, Mama. You do what you want. Don’t let your stubborn toddler ruin your weekend quiet time. And if that means turning on the tv after an attempted two hour span of quiet time so be it.
And please, don’t recommend any ways for me to be a better mom. I think i’m doing just fine.
Until Next Time,
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